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  • juliago 9:24 am on February 22, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: education, ib, school, , university   

    I’m just a thirty.one. 

    From a young age, we are told to be successful. Be a doctor. Be a lawyer. Sit at a desk. Do what you’re told. Be good.

    We’re told what’s right and what is wrong. How to speak, sit, eat properly. School tells us, that to succeed we must comply, so we comply. We sit, learn, listen –  even if we don’t understand.

    We’re told to take tests and pass them. They will determine our intelligence, our capabilities, and by extension, our worth. Only if we pass can we move on to something else; something more; something better.

    Tests, filled with questions to fool and tease, questions where an artist has to become a mathematician and a mathematician a historian.

    We realize only too late. Once we’ve already spent years trying to pass. That they don’t determine our worth: our life: how good we are.

    Our lives cannot be put down in scores.

    Our intelligence not measured by percentages.

    I didn’t do well in my tests. Even if my teachers said I would: they told me I could be whatever I wanted to be because I was good. I did well. I complied. I studied.

    I did what I was told.

    But, they hadn’t expected 31 (you could have gotten 36, 38, they say – if only you had tried harder. did more.). What could I do now since my life, my worth, has been put down into two numbers: 31.

     

    (Thirty-one was the price tag I had to sell myself with).

    I couldn’t be a doctor.

    A lawyer.

    I couldn’t go to ‘my’ university.

    I couldn’t tell my teachers I would succeed.

    I was lost.

     

    Numbers telling me that I should have studied more. Harder. 31 telling me that I wasn’t good enough.

    (My mom kissed my cheek, pulled me into a hug: and said, it’ll be okay, you’ll figure it out. She wiped away my tears with her thumb, looked at me and saw much more than a score. Much more than what a test thought I was. Much more than 31.)

    Why not do what I like? Enjoy? Why not be my own passion. My own guide.

    They still laugh at me when I say what I do. (Anthropology, oh you poor fool). Their eyes widen with sympathy and they shake their heads in pity as they tell me I can never be accomplished: never be what they wanted. Never as good as a 36. 38. 42.

    They, is society: a collaborate union of those who have passed. That even as I am studying: trying to become something. The snicker of those, who according to my teachers did better, scored higher, scored thirty eight, drowned out what I wanted.

    I shiver as I think I’ve made a mistake because I’ll never be accomplished, succeed, I’ll never be what society tells me it needs.

    But here I am. This is me.

    And I will succeed (according to my own standards) –

     

    but i am only 31 out of 45.

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  • juliago 3:41 pm on February 21, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cults, culture, religion   

    Flocks of hums 

    The idea of ‘cults’ or the loose concept of “extreme” religion (e.g the Westboro Baptist Church, Trump-supporters, etc) bore me due to the inherent nature of human beings. We are flock animals, basically ‘sheep’. We are essentially followers, easily manipulated in what you would otherwise call, brainwashed. We easily allow ourselves to believe and fall into routine, and hysteria (someone screams, we all scream), hence people conforming to religious doctrines later in life (after living as atheists) in search of more meaning; the rockstars who became nuns. The questions regarding why people fall into cult circles or can live under such dualistic frameworks that some religions propose is not a question of human culture or society, but human nature and psychology. As a budding anthropologist, I should care. But I feel that following a belief or doctrine or any authority blindly says more about human nature, than it does about culture. I’ll leave that to the biologists or zoologists to examine that we too, are just animals. I understand culture as, taking what is natural and weaving it into something else (for example religion it self, rather than those who follow it.)

    I might be wrong. I most likely am.

     
  • juliago 2:19 pm on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: body-image, sexual bodies, , stereotypes, woman   

    The (monstrous) female nipple 

    Would a woman wearing a white t-shirt bra-less be considered provocative?

    Versus her male counterpart who does so regularly? 

     
  • juliago 2:07 pm on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bi-lingual, ,   

    Bi-lingual scolding 

    Reminder to research why mothers tend to ‘scold’ their bi-lingual children in a different language than the main one spoken. My bi-lingual friends agree, this is a common thing. Not just my own mother.

     
  • juliago 1:01 pm on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply  

    I have become bored with my own existential crisis.

     
  • juliago 11:43 am on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: narrative,   

    Life is a story: Barbara Hardy says: “We dream in narrative, daydream in narrative, remember, anticipate, hope, despair, believe, doubt, plan, revise, criticize, construct, gossip, learn, hate and love by narrative.”

     
  • juliago 3:18 pm on February 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: communication   

    Can we communicate with trees? 

    First attempt of communication: no response.

    Must re-evaluate approach.

     
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06:30

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